I'm Back

You know how you feel sometimes like you're out of it?

And sometimes that feeling lasts months and months.

Well, I'm back.

Crafty me.

Journal-ing me.

Laughing and giggling me.

Rational me.

Fun me.

Early morning me.

It just happened all of a sudden.

After lots of tears, days of sad me, and hopelessness.

All of a sudden I'm back.

And I'm so happy about it.

This might need some explanation. 

After all, this blog hasn't really gone into me that deeply. 

Mostly it's just a day-to-day thing that you can read. 

Outings, news. 

But I just wanted to write a little more personally here today.

Because it's been a long road (or so it feels like) to get here.

Having a baby changes you.

For real.

You always hear that and it gets you excited.

You think yeah, bring on the change! I want that. Awesome.

But you forget that with change comes broken hearts that need to mend, tears that need to be shed, and real hard work that needs to be done. 

You forget until it's time for the changing. And it's then that you don't want it.

All of a sudden you think, oh, well, if this is what change is I'd like my old self and life back. Please and thank you.

And for a while you really wish that were true.

And you go through the changes and you have a tough time of it. 

You really do.

And you kind of think that it's too much.

Because it really feels like it.

And you reach days that you feel couldn't get any worse. And then they do.

And then your husband gives you a blessing, and things start to look better.

They start to change and you see the good again. 

And then, just like that...

you're back.

(photo credit to Lauren Elise Photography.)